TWO PLUS TWO, OR IS FOUR TOGETHER MORE CHEERFUL?

"Advise, the doctor, that to me to do: the husband persistently suggests to invite a married couple with which we have got acquainted on rest to a summer residence of our new friends-. No not only that summer residence to show - together to have sex! I understand, we are married five years and though intimate relations at us good, any habitualness in them already is present. I not the hypocrite, and these young men to me are nice, but as I on eyes at the husband will be... To make love with Мишей? How the husband after that to me will concern? And for me the thought is intolerable, that he at me on eyes will sleep with Мишиной the wife! And if it is pleasant to it more than I? To give up? And it then secretly will be with it - or another - to meet! To agree? But I in his eyes will look dismissed, and even simply whore... Also what it to it in a head has climbed up? Perhaps such offer means, what I at all do not involve it as the woman?"

Twenty six years I work as the psychotherapist, and only last decade clients began to address to me with similar problems. Judging by number of such references, by quantity of letters, on calls to my weekly transfer "a soul and body Inclination" on radio "Hope", the dilemma facing to my client, costs today before many and many Russians. In the largest cities of Russia, by estimates of the sexologists, every fourth wife (or the constant girlfriend) receives such offer, every eighth (12,5 %) pair tries affinity with other pair and every twentieth (5 %!) Is engaged in it a little regularly. But the greatest distribution has received свингерство-so this form of an intimate life is called (from a verb "swing" - "quickly to move") to the USA where it was tried once by every fifth pair (20 %), from three to five times - every sixth (15 %), and regularly practise 8 % of spouses. Even in conservative England свингерство have tested on itself of 18 % of pairs, but regularly in it to be engaged have solved only 4 %.

Most interestingly that the number of admirers (and fans) свингерства constantly grows, approximately for 1 percent year. If this growth remains (and most likely, and will be) in 15 years in the USA the quarter of all families and love pairs will be engaged in it, in England and Russia - the fifth part. What, the new form of sex and behind it - the future before our eyes is born?

Than involves "love four together"?

In overwhelming majority of cases the initiative to invite other pair for employment by sex proceeds from husbands - wives only agree, or, with the same frequency, refuse. It is interesting, that last years situations when as initiators "love four together" women act have become frequent - now it occurs in a quarter свингерских contacts. Experts carefully investigated motives which движут husbands and have come to conclusion, that as the main reason the aspiration to a variety of sexual experience acts, and the main thing here - to test the new form of intimate relations, sex four together, and at all aspiration to possess the new partner. However, last motive too is important.

Today we already know, that the main scourge of matrimonial relations - the sexual boredom quite often reaching level of "sexual desert". So, in Russia of married couples of 70 % with the experience from 5 till 10 years make love only once in a week (!), giving to it of 2,6 minutes. We spend for shaving ten times more time! Only do not think, that "stagnation" in an intimate life - destiny only those families where conflicts reign, quarrels and scandals. No, low sexual activity takes place and in set of absolutely safe pairs living in love and the consent. Thousand researches are devoted a riddle of matrimonial sex. S.Kempbell has counted up, that about this problem is written more articles and books, than about the Second World War. And people try to leave with this boredom, aspire to make matrimonial sex by brighter.

In the West the majority creating a family possess big enough sexual experience: on the average 7 - 8 добрачных partners at men, 3 - 4 - at women. So the new partner there not in wonder, involves presence of one more pair, besides not passive, and too making love, i.e. оргиастичность an intimate life much more. "Miniorgy" - and name свингерство both participants, and sexologists. The orgy generates emotional lifting, ecstasy, inflow of sexual energy, relaxedness, recovers an intimate life, gives it the new bright sensations, new paints - supporters "love four together" confirm. Whether So it? "Yes, so!" - Sexologists D.Lester and V.Cohen, within twenty years studying this phenomenon recognise. On their supervision, свингерские steams find out the big sexual activity, and not only four together, but also in employment by "traditional" love, keep sexual activity longer. Practically all women in two thousand pairs investigated by them test оргазменную a discharge whereas among "traditional" pairs it is absent at 24 % of women (in Russia - at 30!). And many "participants" admit, that for the first time have tested a discharge during time "love four together"!

The women who are engaged in this form of sex, confirm, for the first time the desire to reach "ceiling", a maximum of the sensuality was incentive motive for them, to learn the higher point of passion, to feel itself on peak of the sexuality. They can be understood: after all mass interrogations of 87 % of the fair sex admit, that "have not taken place in a sexual life", "have not opened the sexual potential". And they do not wish to be reconciled with it, they aspire to change the female destiny! In свингерских steams much more above satisfaction marriage, twice is less than divorces, three times less than matrimonial changes.

"But whether is change itself свингерство, after all in it each of spouses enters intimate communication with other partner?" - often ask both at свингеров, and sexologists. "Here there is no change, - declare both those, and others. - after all in" sex four together "anybody deceives nobody, and time is not present a deceit there is no also a change."

Sex during AIDS epoch

The majority свингеров peacefully is engaged in favourite business, but the part on it does not stop, and tries to propagandise the sights, the way of life, to prove its advantages. They publish the newspapers, act on pages of magazines. " Today, when in the world AIDS extends, sex cannot remain such what it was earlier - they speak. - one three-minute contact to the unknown partner or the partner can cost lives not only you, but also the loved one. A condom - protection good, but not absolute. And bent for to a sexual variety at people is so great, as the fear of death will not force to refuse new sensations. In свингерстве we come into contact to same matrimonial or love steams, and the probability of infection is shown to a minimum. The fear before AIDS in the course of time will compel all to concern sex in a new fashion. In 50 years will not be neither casual communications, nor matrimonial changes, and there will be only "a love four together". Really, among those who practises such love, venereal diseases do not meet almost. However, some negative sides are and at this form of sex.

Reverse of the medal

Certainly, оргиастичный character свингерских contacts sharply strengthens excitation and pleasure by sex, but it does partners of second pair by the extremely attractive. Between the husband from one pair and the wife from another quite often there is strong enough inclination, and they start to meet already together, secretly. On supervision of experts, such occurs in the fourth part of all cases свингерства. Certainly, it seldom comes to an end with divorce, but it is unpleasant to other partners.

One more interesting feature was noticed by sexologists in "love four together". Revival of sensuality of the woman, лицезрение partners in a condition of excitation, ecstasy, оргазма quite often clears up in it the homosexual inclination generally inherent in many women (imaginations of sex with the girlfriend are observed at women in 100 times more often, than homosexual imaginations at men. Sexologists do not get tired to be amazed to that a dream about affinity with the woman - the second for frequency at the fair sex. "Транзиторный homosexuality", real semisexual and rather sexual contacts at teenage and youthful age at girls - the phenomenon very extended). Here this inclination in свингерстве also blossoms: every third tries to caress the woman, every fifth - fastens the present novel with the second participant, meets it alone. However, husbands practically are not jealous the wife of its girlfriend: after all it - not the man, our vanity is not wounded. " Let love each other! "- they unanimously agree.

Eyes of the sexologist

How to us to concern and practice "love four together", and to statements of enthusiasts of this "genre" what behind it - the future? First of all, свингерство - the phenomenon not new, it has been extremely extended and in Ancient Rome, and among medieval feudal lords, and in many primitive cultures it and is now very popular. "Four together" researchers constantly observe sex among the higher monkeys who are engaged in it much more often, than even in the California which have broken all records in these сфере:там свингерство half (!) of families tried, and every fifth regularly practises.

The main argument of opponents "love four together" consisted and consists that sex here is deduced for frameworks of intimate relations of two people, is made without love and becomes public. But after all the common sense and life experience have shown for a long time, that sexual relations happen in frameworks and love, both attachment, and simply friendly relations, and occasionally and without any feelings, for satisfaction of physiological requirement. To limit sex only to love permissibly only тургеневским to young ladies with their motto "Die, but do not give a kiss without love!", but all of us cannot assimilate to them!

As to an exit of sex from densely closed bedroom it has taken place for a long time already: we see sexual intercourses in magazines, in erotic and pornographic films, even on a scene. Became obvious, that sexual intercourse can be and especially intimate business, and can - public as who would like, and anything terrible from it does not happen, on the contrary, researches have shown, that sexual production and shows help people timid and uncertain to enter into a normal sexual life.

Other argument: "Свингерство destroys a family" for a long time will deny statistics: as I already spoke, свингерские families several times устойчивее the traditional.

Here arguments, and practice of adherents свингерства look quite convincingly. Really, during an epoch of AIDS we cannot make love any more how did it since times of occurrence of mankind, and to close on it eyes - simply silly. AIDS sword of Damocles compels us much to reconsider in our sexual life, and first of all - passion to a sexual variety. The risk to catch from other married couple, besides - your constant partners, is minimum, the aspiration to novelty and brightness of sensations is satisfied - means, "the love four together" has the right to a life. And figures of growth of this form of sex more than are convincing.

By the way, two more forms apply for a role of "sex of 21st century": telephone sex - мастурбация during conversation with the telephone partner - and paws-densing - when the woman dances on a high podium with the bared genitals. But with свингерством it not to be compared: after all the sexual intercourse in them is not present and is close.

So to me to advise to the client? Certainly, to accept the offer of the husband, remembering thus: in most cases "the love four together" is экспериментирование, and three - four "miniorgies", as a rule, satisfy also requirement for a variety, and for heat of passion. As to fears of my client as if the husband will count its "dismissed" and "whore" for years of the practice I of such cases did not see: after all, at all novelty for us this form of sex, it is completely free from a deceit, all occurs under the arrangement, fairly, and we, men, appreciate it. Such sex will not bring complications in your life, and pleasures will add!